Things I have learned in my time as a feminist killjoy

• Sex. Is amazing and orgasms are even better. However, talking about sex and orgasms will earn you the title of slut.
• Referring to your genitals is not a common practice and people will side eye you when you do it. Which is why I do it. Often. 
• Women, regardless of their size, are subject to the same insecurities and criticism as anyone. Skinny, fat, doesn't matter, we're all doing it wrong. 
• Working is awesome. 
• Talking about money and earning it is socially acceptable and normal for men, but when women do it, it's "tacky" and proves that you don't care about your kids. 
• Being a feminist does not mean what you think it does. Or you. Or you. 
• I am not your mom, mommy or momma. There are three people in the world who are allowed to call me that and they lived inside of me for 9 months. 
• Being called "girl" brings the rage. 
• If you're self-confident, you're "full of yourself". If you're assertive, you're a bitch. I'm okay with being both. 
• It's socially acceptable to be a doormat. 
• I am more than a breeder. My identity is not dependent on the beings I pushed out my vagina. 
• I do not need to ask my husband for "permission". 
• No matter the length of my skirt, the amount of cleavage I show, or the amount of skin is revealed, someone, somewhere will think I'm "asking" for it. 
• Pink is awesome. Blue is awesome. Gender specificity is not. 
• I am "allowed" to be smart. I am not, however, allowed to be smarter than a man. 
• Consent is the key word. 
• Cursing does not make me a "lady"
• The only opinion I'm allowed to have is the one that has been mansplained to me. 
• The patriarchy sucks. 
• No matter what decision I make, I'm doing it wrong and ruining it for everyone.